Single Life  

I found this article, originally in Portuguese and wanted to translate and share, really well written article and I hope I did my best translating it! :-)

The original link for reference is here

What about your girlfriend?

Somebody will ask me that then I’ll smile and reply:

“I am single!”

Right after saying that then it comes that sad face “aww, poor guy!”; however I would rather think the person would hug me and jump with me screaming “That is awesome!!”

You know, I do not understand these people that have in their top priorities in life to find someone. It is like the natural order of life is birth, grown up, meet someone and die. From my point of view, this is not how it should be.

People say they are single and they sound like they have a terminal illness, that they need help. It is nothing like that! There is actually life in being single and a good one!

I am not referring to sex, promiscuity or polygamy, well, if you want that you can do that too but that is not the point. On a more detailed view it means Freedom, Intensity, Peace of Mind. I am writing this based on some actual knowledge of it, I already have many years of dating in my Resume.

I am being true when I say that I am really good being single, a lot better than before. I like to wake up every morning without knowing how my day is going to end. I like the unexpected feeling, lack of routine and not having to report what I do. I like to be able to tell a friend that calls me on a Thursday evening asking if I can travel with him the next morning.

To get home watching the sunrise, sometimes to not get home. To meet new people every day, to not be forced to do something I don’t want to.

To live without anguish, without jealousy, without distrust. To Live.

I believe everyone should go through this stage in their lives, as a matter of fact, very intense. I know that sometimes this might be something that you don’t want. Maybe you will never know if it will be.

As an example, today I am a professional surfer, I notice that a lot of people are holding to their relationships like someone holding a buoy after escaping from a sinking ship. Like that would be their last chance of survival. I do not want a life like that! You might ask me then “But, how about you? Do you want to be single forever?”, “How long are you going to be like this?”

I will probably just reply in a very natural manner “It will be like this until I want it to”. When I can find someone that is bigger than all of this or someone that can follow me. Don’t say to me that your current relationship is like this. What I expect is something very different. When you like the life you have, you will not change for anything, so to me it only makes sense to be with someone that will make me more happy than I already am and I know that this is very hard but if that happens it will be indeed very special. If not, everything is alright.

I don’t really think this is an objective in life. I will not do like many people that feel the pressure of the society, a lot of them dating to say they are dating, getting married to not feel left behind, leaving happiness to have a social status then after all of this comes the betrayal, the divorce, the frustration and everything else that is so common nowadays.

You can leave me with my spectacular life. To be really honest with you, it is not your current conjugal situation that will make you happy or sad. I know couples that are extremely happy together and others that are trying to show that for years. I also know some single people that have a way better life of me and others that are always trying to find someone, desperately, everywhere and sometimes believing that their ex was probably the biggest love of their life and that they lost the chance. That is a lot of crap.

The truth is that you are the only one able to fill your own void and having this handed to another person is just going to make you sad.

I know some really incredible couples as well as some other ones that are slowly killing themselves. I only ask you to not let the fear of solitude make you think that sadness is something you should endure. Living alone in the beginning can be really hard but, the more you try to swim against the current, someday you will learn to surf.

And I can say to you that when this day arrives you will never be content about staying in the sand. From this day on , it will only work if you find someone that wants to go on the water with you.

 
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